Cliches: Siamese twins

Avoid advice and management consultants

Siamese twins are a specific form of cliché, waiting to fill the vacuum in a speaker’s brain

Believe it or not, in this day and age, I am going to speak to you in plain English.

There is so much advice back and forth about management that, by and large, people are unsure whether they are coming or going.  Managers try this and that advice and things just get worse and worse.

Much of this advice is hit and miss because there are no hard and fast rules in management.  Yet, each book or training course or consultant, again and again, claims once and for all to have an up and coming theory over and above all others that will see you through thick and thin.

Between you and me, give or take one or two of these sources, none of them has advice based on the here and now, the real cut and thrust of management and it will leave you high and dry.

Further, employing consultants costs you an arm and a leg.  They tell you a cock and bull story, taking you only so far and no further time and again.  They hum and ha, do bits and pieces, spread doom and gloom and leave you at sixes and sevens.

They charge an arm and a leg.  Then, they take the money and run, leaving you in rags and tatters to sink or swim.  Meanwhile, they are alive and well and living in luxury, enjoying days of wine and roses, while you are left in sackcloth and ashes on a diet of bread and water.

If you don’t want to end up slipping and sliding between a rock and a hard place, take my advice: avoid consultants, clichés and advice.

Avoid them like the plague.

Coming shortly:  The benefits of the good consultant

More advice from the cowman

Don’t throw your weight around

A truck driver arrived on the farm to pick up the sacks of corn.  He made it clear that he wanted to get loaded quickly.  “Hurry up,” he commanded, “I need to get back to the mill.”

I could see that Jim was annoyed at being pushed to work faster by this man.  We loaded the bags steadily and, after the driver had left, I said to Jim:  “He made it clear what he wanted.”

“Aaah, yes,” he said, “but let me warn you – if you throw yer weight around, don’t you be surprised if you  have it thrown around by somebody else.”